Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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