so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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