I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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