about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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