i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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