There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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