Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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