I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize