if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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