what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
