Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
