"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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