Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
