Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
