I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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