Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
