I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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