just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
