it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize