I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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