Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
