if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
