I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
