I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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