i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
