I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
