I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
