he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
