No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize