U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
