Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
