Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
