take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
