How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
