Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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