oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
