fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize