Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
someone threw a dead crab at me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
