I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
