oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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