my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
