Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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