i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
