If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We got so high we made milksteak
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize