absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i already hear my dad disowning me
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize