i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We left an ass print on the piano.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
