doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
