We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
