some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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