Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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