its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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