were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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