Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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