when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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