Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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