It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize