i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
