If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
