It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i barfeds in our rink
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
