You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
